Communicated By: Chanel Fyffe
We have all been there at some point in our lives and probably still to this day. We pick up our child(ren) from school or daycare then we ask “How was your day?” We, then pause and mouth at the same time, while rolling our eyes as they say, “Good.” Then we ask “Just good?” And they respond, “Yes or ye.”
I had to deal with this numerous times before I finally realized that I had to teach my child how to communicate. If I wanted him to say more then I had to ask the question another way. I think that I had just become so used to asking the generic question that I didn’t realize I could fix it. So, then I decided okay, remember Chanel he is learning from you. You are teaching him. So, what do you want him to learn? I began to ask questions that were more specifically based on his interests. Such as, “What did you build in the block centre? What did you enjoy eating for lunch? Who did you play with? What games did you play? This created a better relationship for us because I wanted him to feel comfortable talking about the little things. As a young boy, I want him to know that communication is pivotal in life. The little seed of communication has been planted.
Some days I would ask the generic question “How was your day?” but then I would say to him there are so many other words that you can use to describe your day. Then, I would begin to list different words and he would question what they meant. As time went on, he began to use different words to describe his day with a smile. He sometimes still says good but then he reminds himself that he can use a different word. He even would elaborate on what he did.
I think we always have to remind ourselves that we are constantly teaching our child(ren)and we cannot expect them to know how to communicate if we don’t show them. Also, remember that sometimes children can be just as exhausted as you may be and they don’t want to talk about their day just as they are picked up. Although you are just being a caring, loving parent sometimes they may just want a hug, high five, or however it is that you greet each other. It does not make you any less of a parent if you don’t know exactly how their day was right away. Keep in mind that timing is important.
I will always remember when I asked my son, “Why don’t you listen?” his response at the age of 5 was, “Nobody taught me how to listen.” I was shocked and I didn’t know how to respond because in actuality he was right. It is a skill that we are expected to learn via life experiences. That moment stretched me as a parent to realize I am who he needs to grow into a valuable contributor of society. I have listed a few techniques to try that I have also done myself. Please cater them according to your child’s level. I have actually done these with my son who is now 6 turning 7.
5 Super Easy Communication Tips Listed (with pictures)
1) Create a shaped sandwich or fruit or vegetable in your child’s lunch. Then when you talk in the morning or right before drop off. Say to your child(ren) I bet you cannot guess what shape I put in your lunch today? I did this with my son and he looked forward to solving the mystery. It is also a great conversation starter after school.
2) Encourage your child to use various words that could describe how their day was whether it was on the high side or low side. This allows them to add words to their vocabulary meanwhile letting them know that you want to hear the positives and negatives of their day.
3) I am sure a lot of parents do this already but writing notes in your child’s lunch is also a great way engage in communication as well. I have done a dry erase insert in my child’s lunch bag.
4) Mystery drink in their water bottle. My son enjoys lemon or lime water with honey but I do not give it to him often so when I do. I do not tell him. This also let’s me know if he is drinking his water during the day.
5) Tell your child(ren) how your day was. You don’t have to give a detailed run thorough of all the madness you may have dealt with. A small dose of something good or not so pleasant is sufficient. This has helped my son to ask sometimes not often how was my day. This then leads you to be able ask about their day as well.
Enjoy your day and live purposely.