The greatest reason why people fail at their goals or are not living the life they desire is because they make the wrong commitments and then break those commitments.
Every time you break a commitment that you care about keeping, hold yourself accountable to a really painful consequence. The consequence should be something that makes you go ‘”ouch”, not necessarily in a physical way. It could be that you call all of your close friends and tell them that you broke a commitment, or a 2 minute really cold shower that increases by 30 seconds every time you break a commitment, or donating $50 to your favourite charity every time you break a commitment.
The point is if you want to keep your word, you just do. Remember that no matter what you think you may have, all you really have is your word. Possessions come and go, even family and friends may come and go, but your word is yours to own. You don’t really own all those other things. What you do own is your honour, nobody can take that away from you, and nobody can give it to you. And it starts with being true to your word.
When your word and your actions are in sync, that’s known as being in integrity. Persons of integrity have honour. We trust them and we know we can count on a person of honour. If a person of honour gives their word, I can consider it done. It’s a pretty powerful tool.
The important element in all of this is not to lie to yourself. The only lie that can really hurt you is the lie you buy into. If you are lying to yourself that something is important to you when it isn’t, no amount of consequence is going to help you keep your commitment to it. You’ll just develop resentment toward whomever or whatever is holding you accountable for that commitment.
The person you’ve always wanted to be probably doesn’t commit to things he doesn’t believe in, but the person your mom wants you to be, or the person your life partner wants you to be, or the person your friends want you to be might. It’s not always easy to tell, until we’ve learned to truly trust our instincts.
Once you’re clear about what you’re committed to, you just have to surrender to it. And that means that there just isn’t any room for lies or distractions, you’ve better things to do than spend time arguing with yourself. That’s why when a person breaks a commitment it’s always flipping a bird at someone or something. Find out where the flipping of the bird is directed to so that you can clean up whatever needs to be addressed. Until you do, the consequences will continue to show up in other areas of your commitments.
After breaking a commitment you must do something to restore your honour, so that those individuals around you can trust you again.
Everyone is allowed to mess up, we’re human. It’s what we do once we see that we’ve been breaking a commitment that decides our standing among those around us. An honourable person will bring the consequences breaking his commitments back on himself and makes sure that no person is paying his way. It is through this willingness to own the consequences of one’s actions that shows others that person is sincere, and therefore again worthy of their trust.
So, decide what you’re committed to, commit to it, and then don’t allow yourself to fail.